In a large stock pot over medium-high heat, cook bacon until crispy, then transfer to a separate, paper towel-lined plate.
Drain all but 3 tablespoons bacon fat and return pot to heat. Add diced potatoes and cook for 10 minutes, then add onions and celery and sauté for 6-8 minutes, or until softened.
Season generously with salt and pepper, dried parsley and red pepper flakes, if using.
Add garlic and cook for another 1-2 minutes, or until fragrant.
Pour in chicken broth (and water, if thinner consistency is desired) and bring mixture to a boil, then reduce heat to a simmer and cook for 15 minutes. Season with salt and pepper.
In a small bowl, whisk cornstarch into 2 tablespoons water, then pour slurry into soup. Cook for 5 minutes, then stir in sour cream, cream cheese and half-and-half …
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